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I don’t know about you but I’d like to take a vuvuzela and smack someone upside the head with it. They are so annoying that BBC is considering a buzz-free broadcast of future games. We get it — you like blowing things. Now stop.

Or perhaps we can chip in and get all these chicks and their friends scattered throughout the stadium to distract these horny guys. See what I did there? Heh heh But how to get them to stop? How about more hottie soccer fans like this one?

A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said.

The “King of Kings” statue, one of southwest Ohio’s most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m., Monroe police dispatchers said.

The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained early Tuesday.

The fire spread from the statue to an adjacent amphitheater but was confined to the attic area, and no one was injured, police Chief Mark Neu said. The fire department would release a monetary damage estimate Tuesday, he said.

Travelers on Interstate 75 often were startled to come upon the huge statue by the roadside, but many said America needs more symbols like it. So many people stopped at the church campus that church officials had to build a walkway to accommodate them.

The 4,000-member, nondenominational church was founded by former horse trader Lawrence Bishop and his wife. Bishop said in 2004 he was trying to help people, not impress them, with the statue. He said his wife proposed the Jesus figure as a beacon of hope and salvation and they spent about $250,000 to finance it.

Is it me, or am I starting to feel that Microsoft is popping Zoloft every night to sleep it all off. Whilst, Sony and Apple are ever booming, Microsoft is somewhat being forgotten about.

Anyhow, here walks (very lazily) the new Xbox 360 gaming console.  *three man applaud*

The latest version comes with a 250GB hard drive and comes ready to work with Microsoft’s new hands-free gaming interface, Kinect.

Check out Kinect: <- Cool concept. (opens in new window)

Existing consoles have been criticized in the past for the noise made by the device’s internal fans used to cool the tightly packed electronics but this one is… according to Microsoft, *whisper quiet* but no bluray=fail.

The original rumours, some of which took to calling this the “Xbox 360 Slim”, everyone assuming that becase the PlayStation 3’s second model got smaller that Microsoft would follow suit. But looking at the size of this console’s disc tray and power button (itself newly-designed), it doesn’t appear to be significantly smaller than the existing Xbox 360. A little thinner, perhaps, but nothing drastic. Here are the full details from Gizmodo.

If you’re in the gaming or middle eastern world relations mood, check out this crazy game that’s to be set in Dubai sometime this year. Why are they banning it? Find out here:   A New Game Set In Dubai To Cause HUGE Controversy! Face Censorship?

This, my friends (no hard feelings) is too big for you.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.

The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.

” It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters” – Sunil Mehra

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told the BBC there was an obvious need in India for custom-made condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large.

The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.

And the country already has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation.

‘Not a problem’

Mr Puri said that since Indians would be embarrassed about going to a chemist to ask for smaller condoms there should be vending machines dispensing different sizes all around the country.

“Smaller condoms are on sale in India. But there is a lack of awareness that different sizes are available. There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller size condom.”

But Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally according to Sunil Mehra, the former editor of the Indian version of the men’s magazine Maxim.

“It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters,” he said.

“From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well.

“With apologies to the poet Alexander Pope, you could say, for inches and centimetres, let fools contend.”

Watch the spectacular video here.

Dubai on Monday officially inaugurated the centerpiece of its decade-long construction boom, with the surprise revelation that the world-beating 168-story skyscraper — seen by some as a symbol of the city’s economic excess — was even bigger than previously thought.

In a glitzy firework-lit ceremony, the city-state’s ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum unveiled a plaque commemorating the event and also announced that the $1.5 billion structure has a new name: the Burj Khalifa.

Named after Khalifa Bin Zayed, the president of the United Arab Emirates — and ruler of Abu Dhabi, which recently bailed out debt-ridden Dubai to the tune of $10 billion — the tower was officially recorded as 828 meters tall, adding 10 meters on to previous height claims.

Six years in the making, and now 319 meters higher than previous skyscraping record-holder Taipei 101, Dubai’s newest edifice commands dizzying views of the ambitious building program that has transformed the emirate.

The structure’s architects, Chicago-based Skidmore, Owings & Merrill, have called the Burj Khalifa “a bold global icon that will serve as a model for future urban centers.”

Declaring that “tall buildings are back,” the company predicts that the groundbreaking techniques it used to push the Burj Khalifa to new heights should enable the construction of even taller towers in the future.

iReport: Share your photos of the world’s tallest buildings

“As with any project, SOM’s architects and engineers learned a great deal and are ready to apply this to the next world’s tallest building as it is certainly possible to go taller,” it said.

CNN – Despite such lofty claims, the Burj Khalifa — and other construction projects including the Palm Jumeirah and World archipelagos of man-made islands built for the super-rich — have cast a financial shadow over Dubai.

Last year the emirate shocked investors by asking for a freeze on payments owed on its $26 billion in debts.

The announcement by Dubai World — an umbrella group which includes the Burj Khalifa’s developers –delivered a cold dose of reality to speculators worldwide who believed the oil-rich region was impervious to the global financial crisis.

Facts and figures: Why Dubai is looking up

While predicted economic recovery are likely to help Dubai to shake off some of its debt woes, if not fully regain its boom-time ebullience, some say the city’s path of prestige over practicality will leave projects like the Burj Khalifa struggling to justify their place in the Gulf state’s skyline.

“Dubai doesn’t really need to have to build tall asides from prestige purposes,” Jim Krane, author of “City of Gold: Dubai and the Dream of Capitalism” told CNN in a recent interview.

“If you look at it, it’s a really bad idea. It uses as much electricity as an entire city. And every time the toilet is flushed they’ve got to pump water half a mile into the sky,” he said.

The telescopic shape also presents problems of a more practical nature Krane says.

“The upper 30 or 40 floors are so tiny that they’re useless, so they can’t use them for anything else apart from storage. They’ve built a small, not so useful storage warehouse half a mile in the sky,” he said.

It’s the holidays, we’re coming off a brutal recession, and the last thing any of us needs is a speeding ticket. And yet someone reading this — I hope not the person writing this — is going to get a speeding ticket in the next week or so. According to the National Motorists Association, between 25 million and 50 million speeding tickets are issued every year. So with that in mind, and since plenty of people get pulled over on their way to and from work, we’re offering some suggestions for talking your way out of a ticket.

Will any of this work? Your guess is as good as ours. And, of course, you can drive 90 miles an hour on the freeway and try to find out, but we don’t recommend it. At any rate, here are our suggestions, cultivated from some experts and regular folks who have managed to talk their way out of a ticket. Consider it our gift to anyone caught speeding over the holidays or in the midst of a new year.

Don’t lie. Sure, it’s understandable that you’re going to want to punt and tell the officer that your wife is in labor at the hospital waiting for you, or you’re being chased by a gang of jewel thieves determined to rub you out. But aside from the fact that lying is wrong, and honesty is the best policy and all of that, police officers are kind of trained to spot, well, you know, crooks. If you lie, they’re either going to recognize that or simply find out (“Oh, wow, sorry to hear about your wife — let me make sure you get to the hospital on time”). Instead, do what may not come naturally at a time like this and tell the truth.

That’s the approach Devra Renner, a parenting blogger, gave back when she was in college, driving from Tucson to Lubbock and was pulled over in Salt Flat, Texas. The state trooper asked Renner what she was doing “speeding through the great state of Texas.” Renner admitted that she was in the middle of nowhere, had been driving for hours, got bored and wanted to see how fast her car could go.

Maybe the officer admired that honesty, because he looked at her and said, “Darlin’, you know you’re in a Volkswagen Rabbit, not on the Nascar circuit, right?”

She agreed, apologized and told him she would “hop more slowly” from now on. The state trooper asked her to watch her speed and gave her a warning.

Drive around with something really weird in your car. We’re not really recommending this as a strategy, but it’s such an unusual story, we figured we’d offer it up. Autumn O’Bryan, from Salem, New Hampshire, has a pretty unique business. She stages sex toy home parties for women, and a few years ago, as she was leaving one such party, the hostess came running out of the house, flagging O’Bryan down. O’Bryan had left behind one of those toys.

She thanked the hostess, threw it on her passenger seat and drove away, in somewhat of a hurry to meet some girlfriends. “I was speeding and got caught in a speed trap,” says O’Bryan, who vividly recalls the officer walking up to her car with a flashlight and asking for her license and registration. “He asked where I was coming from, and why I was in such a hurry.”

O’Bryan explained that she had just finished working, and that she was on the way out to meet the girls. That’s when he flashed his light on the sex toy, and the officer then stared at O’Bryan for a long moment. Finally, he said, “Be careful and have a good night,” and walked away, shaking his head. He never even took the license or registration.

Know when to keep your mouth shut. One police officer in Virginia emailed in (he didn’t want his name used) and made the observation that “if you get the ticket, you don’t get the lecture. If you start getting the lecture, it usually means no ticket.” That would suggest that if you’re getting a lecture, it would be smart to not be defensive. Try nodding, saying, “you’re right,” and in general, being polite. Being polite to an officer of the law is a good idea in any situation, but seriously, this is not the moment to get argumentative.

COMING SOON: How to minimize the damage if you are going to get a ticket, in “How to Talk Your Way Out of a Speeding Ticket, Part II”

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